Fearless
by Adrian Jade
Summary: Starting a new school can be tough on anyone. The different clicks, the popularity, the unpopularity. AJ Williams is about to begin the fight of her life. Will she be able to survive “The Fed”?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fearless

Summary: Starting a new school can be tough on anyone. The different clicks, the popularity, the unpopularity. AJ Williams is about to begin the fight of her life. Will she be able to survive "The Fed"?

Chapter One: Fearless

Ashden Jordyn "AJ" Williams sat on her front steps contemplating the first day at her new school the following day. She was 15 and about to become a freshman at "The Fed". To make matters worse her step-dad Steve taught history there.

"Hey kiddo" 17-year- old John Cena had a seat next to his neighbor. "Nervous about tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yea a little" she replied looking into his deep blue eyes. "But it's more like I'm trying to avoid Steve as much a possible" she grimaced.

"Oh don't worry about Ol' Stone Cold I've lived next to him almost my whole life and he's always been fine to me".

"Why do you guys call him Stone Cold?" she asked.

"Each teacher has their own nickname" John explained "your stepdad is Stone Cold, then there is Mr. Flair he teaches science and every calls him Naitch, the principal is Mr. McMahon and well … we call him Mr. McMahon, then there is Jerry Lawler but we call him King and he teaches health and then there is Jim Ross aka J.R. and he teaches English"

"Those are a lot of people to remember" she looked kinda frightened for a few seconds.

"You'll be fine" he assured her. "Plus I'll be there if you need anything".

"Sure you won't talk to a freshman"

"You aren't just any freshman AJ you are like my best friend … I can tell you anything and you never judge me and you have no idea how refreshing that is".

"Your girlfriend Kelly Kelly doesn't listen to you?" she asked in a not very surprised tone.

He sighed. "Kelly just sometimes gets her priorities mixed up".

"I may be only 15 but I'm not naïve John … she doesn't love you she is only with you because it's what is supposed to happen … you being the most popular jock need to date the most popular cheerleader and that's the way it has always been and will always be … I gotta go in for dinner now but I'll see you tomorrow"

"Ok kiddo have a good night and you'll be fine tomorrow"

"Ok you also and I won't take it personally if you don't talk to me tomorrow" she stood up and went into the house.

John shook his before standing up. He walked down the steps slowly and turned to stare at the door where his friend had vanished behind. No, things weren't that black and white. He could be a jock and have a freshman for a best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: You're Not Sorry

"Bye mom" AJ yelled as she ran out the front door heading down the street to the bus stop. After much begging to her mom she was finally able to convince her mom to persuade her step-dad let her ride the bus instead of riding with him, which is what he had planned on. She loved Steve ... she really did but that would have been totally mortifying for her. When she arrived at the bus stop she saw John there she gave him a smile and a wave. In return she got a nod and a half smile. Better than nothing she thought to herself.

The bus finally came and she got on. Most of the kids were paired up already, she bit her lower lip. Maybe she should have rode in with Steve. She shook her head, no she needed to stick this one out on her own.

"You can sit here" a boy with spiky blonde hair said moving his backpack to make room for her. He gave her a warm smile and she felt a little bit better about being a new kid at a new school.

"Thanks" she said taking the offered seat.

"My name is Mike Mizanin but everyone just calls me Miz"

"I'm AJ" she replied.

"AJ stand for somethin?" he asked.

"Yeah but I'd rather not say I hate my full name" truth was there was only one person outside her immediate family who knew what AJ stood for and that person was John.

"So what school did you go to before starting at The Fed?" Miz asked.

"I went to Valley Regional"

"My little brother goes there" he told her just to keep the conversation going.

"So what grade are you in?" she asked kinda hoping he was a freshman as well.

"Sophomore" he replied.

"So you already suffered through your freshman year" she remarked.

"It's not that bad once you know who to talk to and who not to ... take the big dark haired brute over there his name is Randy Orton, him and John Cena practically own the whole school. Both of them are the stereotypical jocks who are complete and total assholes to everyone."

"John has never seemed like an asshole to me" she retorted.

"You know Cena?" he asked kinda hesitantly afraid that he might have offended one of her family members.

"He's my next door neighbor" she replied. "he's always been really nice to me"

"Wait he lives next to Stone Cold... no way you aren't like his kid or anything are you?" Miz asked.

"He's my step-dad"

"Wow, how is it living with the biggest hard ass in the school well with the exception of Mr. McMahon of course?" he asked.

"I dunno I don't know him as a teacher, I only know him as a dad"

"Is he like ... I dunno a normal guy at home?" Miz asked mystified.

"Yeah, he does the same things every other human on the planet does" she retorted a little confused.

"Well like I said no worries you have me as your own personal tour guide" he told her "I'll fill you in on who to talk to and who to steer clear of".

"Ok ... thanks I guess"

--

Miz was true to his word he showed her around the whole entire school rattling off names of people and places within the building that she would need to know to survive. He also met her outside of her classes and walked with her to make sure she didn't get lost.

"Finally lunch" Miz groaned. "I thought my first four periods were going to kill me". He shuffled tiredly next to AJ heading towards the cafeteria.

"Mine weren't too bad" she replied. "I have Steve's class after lunch ... I asked him to make sure they didn't put me in his class but must have slipped his mind" she rolled her eyes.

"Sweet we have a class together" Miz cheered up a little bit at that fact. "I failed history last year" he laughed a little bit at himself. It didn't seem to bother him at all that he had failed a class. Yet AJ would have been mortified. The glasses she wore slipped down her nose a little bit and she moved her hand to adjust them. Inwardly groaning because she probably looked like a dork doing so. She had never considered herself a dork, sure she had glasses and braces but still she thought of herself as pretty. She was very tall and thin with long chestnut colored hair and grey eyes. Her skin was smooth and a pale olive color. But she still had that little girl look to her, she looked twelve rather than fifteen.

They found an empty table and took their seats. About two minutes later a boy with long hair and sunglasses joined them. He was tanned and had the whole Californian look down.

"Why hello beautiful" he said flashing AJ his best smile.

"AJ this is John Morrison" Miz rolled his eyes at his best friend.

"But you can feel free to call me The Shaman of Sexy" Morrison certainly was a charmer.

"I'll stick with Morrison if you don't mind" she giggled.

"Easy man she's Stone Cold's kid" Miz warned him.

"Step-kid" AJ corrected her new friend.

"Sweet deal we befriend his step kid and maybe this year he'll actually pass us" Morrison grinned. "Not that that would be the only reason to befriend you sweetie" he added for good measure.

"Thanks I guess"

--

After lunch she had Steve's class. He left her alone most of the time and did not bring any attention to the fact they were related which she was very thankful about. She copied her notes from the back of the class and got ready to go when the bell rang. Last period study hall and then she was out for the day.

"Hey pumpkin how is the first day going?" Steve asked after everyone else had left. Her eyes scanned the room making sure that they were alone. She didn't want to hear the snickers of one of her teachers calling her pumpkin even if he was her step-dad.

"Things are going good dad" she knew Steve liked when she called him dad. She had never met her real father and he mom had married Steve when she was really young so technically he was the only father she ever knew.

"That's great ... have you made any friends yet?"

"Umm ... Miz and Morrison" she replied.

He frowned "Those two knuckle heads you can do so much better than them".

"I'm gonna be late for my next period dad I'll see you at home ok"

"Sure thing oh by the way if you happen to see Cena could you give him this" Steve handed her a text book. "The fool was to busy tryin to score with his girlfriend to pay attention to his books.

"Dad you like John" she reasoned with him.

"I like him out of school but when he is sitting in my class chatting up Kelly and not paying attention I don't like him so much"

"He's a good guy dad"

--

She saw John walking out of the building with Kelly on his arm. She rolled her eyes as she approached them. When she finally reached him he was surrounded by all his friends. They all looked at her as she approached.

"John ... Steve wanted me to give you this" she extended the book to him.

"Thanks kiddo" he replied.

"Ok little freshman you can leave now" Kelly told her. "John you'd better sterilize that book before you touch it again lord knows what kind of freaky germs she has contaminated it with".

AJ looked to John, he could see the hurt in her eyes. He gave her a heartbreaking look. She didn't even bother to reply, she just turned and walked away. John watched her retreat he could see her shoulders slumped over just a little bit. Why hadn't he stuck up for his friend? Was was he such a jerk?

--

"AJ ... please talk to me" John begged. "Ashden you said you weren't going to be mad"

She turned around to glare at him. "First off don't call me Ashden and second of all I said I wouldn't be upset if you didn't talk to me I never said that I wouldn't be upset if your jackass friends taunted me".

"AJ ... I'm sorry she shouldn't have said that"

"Just leave me alone ... if you really cared at all you would have said something to defend me ... just stay away from me"

She walked into her house and slammed the door shut. She went up to her room and collapsed on her bed and cried. It was one thing to be made fun of, that didn't bother her very much. It was that her own friend was so ashamed of her he didn't eevn bother to tell his skank of a girlfriend to stop. He wasn't sorry not at all.


	3. Chapter 3

It was 2 am and John couldn't help but feel like he had lost his best friend. He couldn't let things end like this, quietly he got out of his bed and crept down the stairs and out his front door. He hurried across his front lawn and hopped the chain link fence into her front yard. Cursing to himself about not putting a pair of pajama pants on over his boxer shorts he began trying and very badly failing to climb the tree directly next to her window. He finally took one big breath and gritted his teeth against the pain caused by his exposed skin against the rough tree bark. Breathing heavily he reached out and knocked on her bedroom window. She looked up and became wide-eyed. She shot out of bed and over to her window, she opened it and stared incredulously at him.

"What are you doing?" she hissed panicked that somehow her parents were going to find out about this.

"Let me in it's cold out here" he insisted. She moved out of the way so he could climb through her window only because she didn't want him falling out of the tree and breaking his neck in the process.

"You can't be in here Steve would freak if he knew I had a boy in my room" she whispered furiously.

"Relax ... he won't find out and I only came here to talk to you"

"Well I don't want to talk to you" she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a dirty look. "I may be only 15 but I know you are a jerk and I also know that all I have to do is yell for Steve and believe me I will never have the misfortune of seeing you again".

"Please AJ I'm sorry ... it's just that I don't know how to act around you anymore" he replied exasperated.

"What do you mean" she kinda cocked her head to one side.

"I dunno you aren't the same little girl with the pig tails that moved next door all those years ago and part of me knew that but now that we are in the same school it's just made me realize that you are growing up."

"John you are only like a year and a half older than me" he reminded him.

"Yes but I'm also a junior, where you are a freshman".

"So basically you don't want me at your school is that right?" she asked him even more irritated than she was previously.

"No ... no that is not what I want at all ... can we just chalk it up to I'm an idiot and have that be it" he pleaded. "You really are my best friend and I don't want to lose that"

"I dunno John I don't think I can be your friend if your girlfriend is going to say all those horrible things about me and you say nothing to her about it"

"I swear I'll say something to them … I'll be the friend I should have been today … please AJ I need you in my life" so there the most popular kid at "The Fed" was standing in the middle of her bedroom in his white wife beater and boxer shorts begging her, a mere freshman, to stay in his life.

"John … I'm tired"

"Can I stay with you please … nothing funny I just want to stay here with you"

"Steve will murder the both of us if he catches you in here"

"He won't catch me" he assured her making his way over to her bed and lying down. "I'll be gone before you even wake up"

"Fine whatever just don't drool on my pillows" she climbed into bed next to him. Out of some sort of instinct he wrapped his arms around her. She was a little freaked out at first but she was also really tired and even though it was against her better judgment she fell asleep with a boy in her bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Tell Me Why

"_So how was your first day week of school?" _Ethan Williams asked his younger sister.

"It was ok" she curled the phone cord around and around in her fingers.

"_Just ok?"_ he asked.

"It wasn't horrible"

"_You wanna talk about it?"_

"It was just your normal first week at a new school" she remarked trying desperately to change the subject.

"_So how's John?"_

"Random question but he's ok. Ethan how would you describe mine and John's relationship? I thought I knew but now things are all crazy and up in the air."

"_He didn't try and force himself on you did he because if he did I'll kill him"_

"No Ethan if he even tired I'd have Steve kick his ass he's just being really confusing right now it's like he wants to be my friend but only outside of school. He says hi in the halls but he never talks to me directly but the moment we get off that bus. Hey AJ you wanna watch a movie or something … come on let's hang out" she vented her frustrations.

"_Yea … I understand, it seems like our little friend John is discovering that you no longer are the 6 year old girl you were when mom and Steve got married and we moved here … maybe he likes you and that scares him"_

"Well I don't like him!" she exclaimed appalled by the mere thought.

"_So are there any guys you like?"_

"Ethan … come on you know I'm not gonna tell ya" she laughed a little.

"_So there is"_ she didn't have to be in the same room with her brother to know he was smirking.

"Don't you have a class to go to or something? I mean what are mom and Steve paying for sending you to University?"

"_You know people here in the US say college now"_ he joked her. _"We don't live in Canada anymore"_

"I don't go around saying aboot or eh anymore so leave me alone"

He laughed at her _"I guess you are right … I do gotta go though but be careful … boys your age have one thing on their minds"_

"Ok Ethan … I promise to go out and have as much mind blowing sex as I possibly can"

"_Ashden Jordyn …"_

"Good bye Ethan Kristopher" she hung up her phone.

"AJ you have a visitor" she heard Steve yell from the first floor. She got off her bed and bounded down the front set of stairs. Morrison was waiting for her in the hallway looking uncomfortable being in his teacher's home.

"Hey Morrison" she greeted him cheerily.

"Hey AJ … I was bored and in the neighborhood and wanted to know if you wanted to catch a movie or something"

"Yeah sure that'd be fun lemme just go check it with my mom and Steve"

--

Her mother, Anita and Steve were waiting for her in the other room. Steve was shaking his head, obviously he was not comfortable with his step-daughter being out with a boy in any fashion unsupervised.

"Have fun honey" her mother told her. This of course earned her a dirty look for her husband.

"Thanks guys I'll be home in a couple of hours"

--

"Ok it's all good with them so we can leave" Morrison seemed pleased with this and flashed her a smile telling her so.

"I'm glad Stone Cold let you go out"

"He wasn't thrilled about it but what could he really say" she replied. "You have your own car?"

"Yea … that's not a problem is it?" he asked.

"Nope, I think it's cool"

"Hey guys" John greeted them when they had reached the sidewalk next to the car.

"Hi John" AJ remarked kinda annoyed.

"Cena"

"Where you two goin?"

"To the movies" Morrison replied.

"Cool cool" John's response wasn't as enthusiastic as it could have been.

"See you later John" AJ got into the car and Morrison did the same.

--

"Thanks Morrison I had a blast" AJ thanked her friend for showing her such a good time.

"It was my pleasure" he leaned against his car casually.

"So …" she swung her arms aimlessly not sure what to do or say next.

"I gotta get going" he said straightening up. "Have a nice night AJ"

"You too" she watched him drive away.

"Morrison huh?" John asked walking out of his home with a bag of trash which he was sticking in the garbage. "Coulda done so much better than him."

She rolled her eyes, the last thing she needed right now was his macho attitude. "It was just a movie" she reasoned with him.

"I don't like you seeing him"

"The fact that you even have an opinion is kinda scary".

"You are my friend and as such I feel that I should have an opinion"

"Ok … well if that's the case your girlfriend is a tramp".

His eyes grew dark. "I don't want you to see him outside of school again" he grabbed her arm and squeezed it a little too hard.

"John you are hurting me" she asked a little scared of his sudden attitude.

"Sorry" he released his grip on her arm and winced seeing the redness.

"You know you could write a book about ruining my perfect days … I don't know what gives you the right to be so damn confusing right now … my brother thinks you like me but you know what I think … I think you are insane"

"One minute you are sweet and then the next you are possessive and clingy and then in the same moment you are cold and distant … but you know what you are still the same person who used to be my best friend but now I don't even want to be around you" she continued.

"I'm sorry I just worry about you" he reasoned.

"Get bent" she replied storming away from him. "I'm sick and tired of your attitude … I feel like I don't even know you anymore John. I'm sick and tired of your reasons and excuses. So please just stop" she slammed the screen door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Love Story

_AJ,_

_Please meet me at the masquerade dance on Friday. I will be waiting for you in the middle of the dance floor and I will wait all night for you to come._

"Screw that" AJ muttered throwing the supposed love note into the trash.

John frowned as he watched AJ walk out of the building to have lunch outside. He made his way over to the trash barrel and picked up the crumpled note that luckily for him rested on the top. He scanned it over and his eyes went wide. He recognized the writing and his teeth gritted together.

"What the hell is this?" he seethed stalking over her his friends later that day with the crumpled note in his hand.

"We're just having some fun with that little freshman girl" Orton laughed taking the love note from his friend.

"Look she's a nice girl and she's also Stone Cold's kid so leave her alone"

"Stone Cold's kid huh … he failed me twice … that's even more reason to mess with her"

"I'm asking you as a friend not to mess with her"

"Sounds like Cena is in love" Randy taunted him.

"Quit being such a wimp John it's very unattractive" Kelly told him while wrapping an arm around his waist. "You never had a problem hazing the freshmen before."

"Those other freshman I haven't know since they were 6" he countered her before separating himself from her.

"I think Cena really does like the little freshman"

"She's my friend … that's all" he insisted. "So please leave her alone".

"I will" Randy assured him. "Your friendship means more to me that some stupid prank".

"Thank you" John walked away.

"We aren't really going to stop messing with her are we Randy?" Kelly asked wrapping her arms around Randy's neck.

"Of course not my dear" he smiled his brightest smile at her. "Just like you're not gonna stop cheating on Cena anytime soon". He kissed her lips roughly.

--

"AJ can we talk?" John pleaded.

"No we can not" she stated.

"Please …"

"Leave John or I will tell Steve you are harassing me"

"Listen just don't go to the dance on Friday" he warned her.

"I wasn't planning on it anyways" she told him.

"Ok that's all I ask"

"Why?" she asked.

"Just don't" was all he would say.

"Fine … bye"

--

AJ walked into her living room. Her mother was waiting for her with a beautiful silk dress in her hands. AJ rolled her eyes and walked past her mother into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of apple juice.

"Mom I'm not going" she stated firmly.

"Come on Ashden it will be fun" her mother tried to convince her. "Besides it's a masquerade so you won't know who you are dancing with … who knows maybe John will dance with you".

"Even more reason for me not to go"

"But John is your friend"

"Was my friend mom past tense" she left the kitchen and began climbing the stairs to her room.

"Ashden Jordyn you are going to this dance and you are going to have fun" she mother commanded sternly.

"You cannot seriously think you can make me go to this dance if I don't want to go" the teenager crossed her arms over her chest and stood her ground.

--

"Miz are you going to this stupid dance tonight?" she was laying across her bed while wrapping the cord to her phone around her fingers. "Could you and Morrison go so I won't be alone … come on Miz please … I'll make it up to you … Yay! You are the best".

--

"Mom … hurry up" AJ huffed waiting for her mother to finish curling her hair. She wasn't even sure why she had allowed her to because she could have easily done it herself.

"There all done" her mother beamed with pride. "You look so much more grown up with your contacts dear".

"Bye mom …"

"Just one picture" the girl rolled her eyes.

"One mom" the girl relented.

Anita grabbed her camera and took a picture of her teenage daughter. "Tonight is gonna mark the start of the rest of your life sweetie … you aren't a little girl anymore."

"Ok I'm leaving now"

"Bye dad" she yelled from the front door.

"Bye Pumpkin have a good time"

Miz and Morrison were leaning against Morrison's car. "Well look who looks completely different" Morrison grinned as he allowed her into his car.

"Oh shut up"

"You look pretty AJ" Miz complemented her.

"Thank you"

They arrived at the dance just as the gym was really starting to fill up. Miz and Morrison pulled their masks over their faces. Miz offered AJ his arm and she gladly accepted it. She also linked her other free arm with Morrison's. "I can't believe my mom made me go to this stupid thing … its gonna be so lame".

"I can't believe you forced us to go" Morrison added. "But you needed us so we are here."

--

"She's here" Randy grinned mischievously from under his black mask. It covered most of his face so that all that could be seen was his mouth.

"This is going to be fun" the look on Kelly's face was a dangerous one. "I don't know what John sees in that little freshman".

"Me either"

--

"AJ" John approached her. "You said you weren't coming". The look in his eyes was nothing she had ever seen before, he looked almost as if he was in pain. "You need to leave."

"Why?" Morrison, who was standing next to her asked.

"Some people here are just cruel and they will stop at nothing for a laugh" he eyed the long haired teen. They shared a nod of understanding. Maybe Morrison had been wrong about Cena all along.

"John … just go away you bring nothing but misery to people" Morrison didn't miss the hurt etched across the jock's face. If AJ had seen in she ignored it. "I'm not leaving."

"Please Ashden please I was once your best friend and I am only trying to make sure you are safe" he pleaded with her.

"Just leave me alone" she ran away from both of them. She was so sick and tired of John and his clinginess. She just wanted it all to end.

--

"Find her and get her out of here … I don't know what Orton and Kelly have planned but I won't let her get hurt" Cena told Morrison.

Morrison nodded. "I'll get her out of here".

"Thank you".

--

"You ok there kid?" Randy Orton asked having a seat next to AJ. The young girl eyed him suspiciously wondering why he would bother talking to her. But his face was completely sincere. She looked down at her mask that was now in her hands.

"Yes" she muttered miserably. "Just wondering when my life changed without me knowing it."

"I know about the love note" he patted her on the shoulder. "I'm not supposed to say anything but Cena was the one who wrote it … he wanted to get you here and then embarrass you in front of everyone … but you seem like such a nice girl and I couldn't let him do that to you".

She looked at him skeptically. "John would never do that to me he's been my best friend since I was six years old".

"Believe what you want but that would definitely explain why John has been so weird around you lately".

She shook her head. "I don't understand what I did wrong to make him hate me so much" a few tears leaked from her closed lids.

"Come on kid I'll take you home" he offered extending his hand.

"No … I don't want to go home right now … but would you mind taking me somewhere away from here?".

"Of course" he smiled sweetly at her. "The last thing I want is for a pretty young woman like yourself to get hurt" she accepted his hand and he walked swiftly with her out of the gymnasium doors.

--

"Cena man I have looked everywhere and I can't find her anywhere" Morrison was really worried at this point.

"Damn it" John wanted to rip the hair out of his head at this point.

"Do you think she's with Orton?" Morrison asked. Miz joined the other two men who had also been looking to AJ. Miz had been talking to people to try and find out if AJ had left with Orton.

"A few kids say they saw her leave but they could not tell me who it was with" Miz filled them in.

"We gotta find her … you guys don't know what he does to women … I've heard stories and they aren't pretty … I will not let AJ be another notch on his belt … Gah I am so stupid … I knew something like this was gonna happen".

"So that's why you have been all weird".

"I think I might love her" Cena admitted. "I've been trying to keep her from attracting attention but obviously I failed her on that one …" there were tears in his blue eyes. "He's gonna hurt her" he placed his hand over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting right where he stood. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. "We need to move … he's going to take from her the one thing she can never get back".


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey AJ … how are you feeling?" John asked tentatively as he had a seat across from her in the lunch room. Miz and Morrison had a seat on either side of her.

"Fine" AJ replied in a quiet voice that was anything but her own.

"AJ you know you can talk to us right" John told her.

AJ played with her food. She didn't want to talk to anyone about anything right now. She just wanted to curl into a ball and be left alone.

"Why are you even sitting with us Cena?" she asked. She wanted to make him mad so he would leave her alone. She knew he would be the hardest to get rid of. But once she got rid of him Miz and Morrison would disappear soon after.

"You are my friend and I'm worried about you … we all are" there was pain in his eyes.

"He's right AJ we just want to make sure you are ok" Miz went to put his hand on top of hers but she moved her hand away quickly. Miz's hand landed awkwardly on the table top. They all looked at her as if she had multiple heads. She just sighed and stood up with her tray of food in her hands.

"Just leave me alone all of you" she stormed off leaving three very bewildered young men behind.

"What did he do to her?" Miz asked appalled.

John swallowed very hard, he had an idea of what had happened but he had nothing to be sure of. He needed to talk to Stone Cold.

--

"Stone Cold … umm I mean Mr. Williams can I speak to you please?" John asked as he jogged up to his teacher. Steve thought about telling him to go away but the look of desperation in his eyes told the older man not to.

"What is it John?"

"It's AJ I'm worried about her" the young man admitted. "Randy and Kelly have kinda made it their personal mission to make her life hell and we got into a fight about it and then Friday night at the dance me and AJ got into a fight and she left with Orton and now she's like refusing to talk to anyone".

"Are you sure she left with Orton?" Stone Cold asked.

"Yea, pretty much" Stone cold patted his student on the shoulder.

"Thank you for letting me know you are a good friend to my little girl" John nodded numbly. He wasn't a good friend at all. He had let her get hurt.

--

AJ sat in her media immersion class, staring at a black screen. Her expression blank. Miz had taken the seat next to her and Morrison was on her other side. They had heard a few rumors that Orton had something planned and wanted to be there with their friend when it happened. She didn't seem to notice them at all. They still had a few minutes till class started. All of a sudden all of the computers seemed to turn on and a video popped up.

Morrison's eyes widened as the video played out. All of a sudden AJ couldn't breathe, the air was thinning around her. She stood up from her seat and ran out of the room. John was there waiting for her. He wrapped his arms around her and led her out of the school. They walked for a long time not saying a word.

"Why John? Why would he do that to me?" she finally asked, her voice like her soul was broken beyond repair.

"I don't know AJ I really don't" John said sadly. He wanted so badly to hold her and tell her it was going to be alright. But from the way she looked right then and there, so broken and afraid of the slightest human contact he deemed it a bad idea. "This is all my fault I just wanted to protect you but I couldn't" he turned away from her so she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. "I let him hurt you".

"Were you the one who sent me that note?" she asked.

"No, that was Kelly I swear I would never want to do anything like that to you" he replied honestly. "I love you Ashden Jordyn Williams" she looked at him surprised.

"I gotta go" she ran away from him.

He watched her run away and it was then that he realized that things would never be the same as they were before. They weren't the same people they used to be.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Change

_Flashback_

"_Mom … Dad" she addressed her parents with a rigid formality "I'm leaving" Anita opened her mouth but before she could get any words out AJ spoke again. "It's better this way Mom I need to go somewhere that people don't know I was that poor stupid little girl who was raped by one of the members of the football team" both her parents flinched when she said the word raped. "I'm not happy at school … everyone knows what happened and I can feel their stares and hear their whispers and I am sick of it so I'm going to stay with Auntie Kay and Uncle Rich on their horse ranch"._

She had been in Texas for almost a year but she longed to be back home with her family. Maybe that was why she was sitting on a plane waiting for it to touch down. She knew her parents would be waiting for her back at the airport. She knew that they knew she wasn't coming alone. No, she didn't have that luxury anymore. She had a constant companion now. She looked down at the little bundle asleep in her arms. Her dark brown hair was sticking out of the hat she was wearing and her pacifier hung loosely from her mouth. Everyone had assured her that Natalie Grace Williams looked exactly like her but she could see him in her. Sometimes she shuddered when she looked her daughter in the eyes because they were identical to those deranged eyes that haunted her dreams.

It was one month into summer vacation for the students at "The Fed". She knew she would have to see a few of them around town but she hoped she could avoid them as much as possible. Finally the plane came to a stop and she was able to collect her overhead bags and place Natalie into her carrier. She was awake by now, she stared at her mother. "Please don't look at me like that Natalie" she pleaded with the infant. She walked down the little stairs off the plane with Natalie's carrier in both hands and followed the crowd of people shuffling towards the airport. She took a deep breath before walking out into where she knew her parents would be. But they weren't alone, Miz and Morrison and all the Cena boys were there too.

"Welcome home" everyone chorused making every person in the airport look in their direction. She plastered on her best fake smile and pretended to be so happy to see everyone. She let them all hug her even though it killed her to do so. She wasn't a big fan of physical signs of affection anymore.

"So you are a mom?" there was no signs of condemnation in Morrison's voice as he asked. "That's cool". He had his hands in his pockets and was currently rocking back and forth awkwardly on his heels.

"Not really" was her reply.

"We really missed you AJ" Miz stated what everyone had been feeling for the past 11 months since she had been gone.

"I missed you guys too"

"AJ can I steal you away from these two knuckleheads for a moment?" John asked politely.

"Yea … sure I guess so" she followed John a few feet away. He couldn't stop himself as he wrapped his arms around her again and just breathed in her scent. She did her best to try and hug him back but it was extremely hard for her.

"You have no idea how much you not being here had sucked" he started off by saying. "It was horrible not having you around".

"I had to go John" he nodded. He knew it was true, she needed to go somewhere she felt safe to have her daughter.

"So what did you name her?" he asked.

"Natalie … Natalie Grace" she replied with a shrug. "I dunno where I got it from but that's her name".

"She's beautiful just like her mom" it was hard for him to refer to her as someone's mother. She was barely sixteen years old and she was already someone's mother. They both looked over to her mother who was currently cradling the baby girl. AJ sighed tiredly.

"He's in jail he can't hurt you or Natalie anymore" John reassured her.

"I'm not worried about Randy" she remarked. "I'm worried about everyone else in this stupid town". There was a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Let everyone talk" he scoffed. "They don't know anything".

--

AJ awoke exactly at 6 a.m. as she had every other day for the past 11 months. Her body was just so used to the schedule that she could not go back to sleep even if she wanted to. She had been so tired from the flight that her mother and Steve offered to take Natalie for the night. She quietly crept into their room to retrieve the infant. She smiled; Natalie was sound asleep on Steve's broad chest. She carefully picked Natalie up and placed her on her shoulder. The baby whimpered which caused Steve to open his eyes.

"It's ok go back to sleep I got her" AJ whispered. Steve nodded and closed his eyes but he was wearing a smile on his thin lips. Steve had been the most supportive since she had been home, he seemed genuinely happy to have a little baby to spoil. Steve had no children of his own and she had been 5 when her mother and him began dating so this was his chance to feel what it was like having a baby around. Of course he wasn't happy when he found out about the pregnancy but he had understood her decisions and supported her the best he could.

AJ fixed the baby a bottle and sat with her in one of the kitchen chairs facing the windows. She stared out at the world as Natalie sucked greedily at her bottle. She removed the bottle from the baby's mouth and brought her up to her shoulder to burp her. She got two good burps out of her and let her continue to eat. Precisely at 6:30 there was a knocking at the front door. Curious AJ got up from her chair with the baby in her arms to answer it. John stood on the other side of the screen door with a shy smile on his face.

"May I come in?" he asked. She stepped aside and allowed him to enter her home. He made himself comfortable in on of the kitchen chairs.

"I was about to make some pancakes and eggs for mom and Steve but you are more than welcome to stay for breakfast" she figured she should at least offer to be polite.

"Sure" he agreed with an enthusiastic grin. "It'll be like old times".

"Yea it will be" she murmured as she stirred the batter for the pancakes. John came to stand next to her and stuck his finger in the batter and wiped it on the tip of her nose. She looked at him as if he was crazy but he just gave her a goofy grin and shrugged. She looked over her shoulder to see that Natalie had fallen asleep in her bouncy chair. "You know everyone says she looks just like me but all I see is him." She could see John's body go rigid at the mention of his one time best friend.

"He will never hurt you again" John vowed but she could tell his words were more for his sake than hers. "He is locked up in jail and won't come near you or Natalie ever".

"So what brings you over here so early?" she asked trying very hard to change the subject before John totally flipped out. She could see that nothing had really changed with him, he was still the same guy he was before she left.

"Oh …" he was momentarily confused. He scratched the back of his head and stretched a little. Giving her a nice view of his toned abs as his shirt went up a little. "I wanted to invite you and Natty to the annual fair today".

"Thank you for the invite John but I don't think that is such a good idea" she politely declined his invitation.

"Why not?" he asked a little hurt that she had turned him down. She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a look. Nope, she was definitely not the same person she was before she left. He was now taking the time to notice. Being pregnant had filled her out a little bit and she had lost the braces and the glasses. She definitely wasn't a little kid anymore.

"John" she sighed. "We live in a very small community and I'm sure my arrival back into town has got everyone talking and I don't think I am ready to face all of the stares and the whispers again just yet".

It was his turn to sigh. "Why are you letting people get to you Ashden" she flinched when he used her full name. "The people who love you will stand by your side and you know it. Hell anyone says one bad thing about you or Steve's baby granddaughter then man would kick their asses without thinking twice about it".

"It's not that simple John" she returned her attention to stirring the batter. "You remember the book The Scarlet Letter right … well I am playing the part of Hester Prynne and Natalie might as well be named Pearl".

"The AJ I knew would never be afraid of what people said or thought about her" John replied moodily. He couldn't understand why she cared so much about what the stupid people thought of her. She was the innocent victim. If anything people should be giving her a medal for being able to keep it all together for as long as she had. "What happened to you was not your fault" he placed his hands on both of her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Randy drugged you and took advantage of you and then showed it to the whole school. You did nothing wrong."

She broke away from him and tried to compose herself. The close contact and the physicality of the way he was talking to her reminded her of that night. "You don't understand John if I had never been so stupid … If I had never gone with him that night then I would have a normal life instead of what I have now".

"But if it would never have happened then you wouldn't have Natalie right now" he pointed out.

"Exactly" she agreed. "I would be like every other 16 year old girl".

"Do you even love her at all?" he asked shocked at the amount of distain she had in her voice when it came to talking about her daughter.

"Natalie being here is a cross I have to carry" she left it at that.

"You've changed … you aren't even close to the same person you used to be" the look on his face was one of disgusted revulsion.

"Thank you Captain Obvious" the sarcastic tone stung him more than her actual words.

"When you decide to let the sunlight into your dark abyss you know where to find me" he let himself out.

AJ threw the bowl of batter into the sink and didn't even bother to begin to care about the globs of it that were now trickling down the kitchen walls. She quietly brought Natalie back into her bassinet in her mom and Steve's room before returning to her own to cry.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: White Horse

"What do you mean you have no room for her" AJ seethed into the phone. She had made reservations for Natalie to start daycare while she was at school over a month ago but now she was being told that they had lost her paper work and there was no more room for her daughter. "So what am I supposed to do while I am at school? Huh? Gah … can't you just squeeze in one more baby? Fine … BYE" she slammed the phone down and let out a huge sigh.

"I for one am glad my little princess isn't going to some day care where we don't know what happens to her" Steve cooed at the baby. She laughed and reached up to touch his face. He took her little hand and kissed it.

"Well Steven James what do you propose I do with your princess while I got to school?" AJ asked him in a very annoyed tone. Steve straightened out and gave her a fierce look.

"Listen girly you may have a baby but you are still a child and as such that does not give you the right to run off with that smart mouth of yours and I have the my second and third periods as prep periods so I can watch her during those two classes and I know John has his first period free so he can watch her also. So you already have three classes you can go to without too much hassle. Then you have lunch which I'm such that motley crew of friends you have will have no problem with Natty hanging out. After lunch you yourself have a free period and then your mother is off from work so she could swing by and pick the baby up so you can go to your last two classes in peace."

"I doubt John would be willing to do anything for me" she replied sullenly.

"What makes you say that pumpkin?" Steve asked taking his attention from the baby.

"We had a fight the day after I got back and we haven't spoken since then" she admitted. Her parents had asked her about the absence of John lately and she had just shrugged and said he was busy.

"I'm sure you too will work it out you always do" Steve dulled out his quota of feel good advice for the day.

"Uh huh" she replied. "You mind watching the baby for a while? I gotta go talk to someone".

"Go" he practically shooed her out the door. She walked the length of her yard and crossed over into his. Taking the old warn steps two at a time, she reached the front door and brought her hand up to knock. She shook her head and turned around and walked back down the stairs.

"AJ" she turned around to come face to face with John's father. He looked happy to see her. She stood there awkwardly, she placed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hey Mr. Cena" she replied back shyly. "How are you?"

He gave her a warm smile. "I've been good thank you for asking. Are you here to see John?"

"Yea I guess I am"

"I'll go get him".

John came out of the house a few moments later in noting but basket ball shorts. A worried look across his features. "Is everything ok?" he asked. "There is nothing wrong with Natty is there?"

"No, she's fine" the young girl informed him. John's features seemed to relax and it truly hit her how much he cared for not only her but her daughter as well. He didn't have to come out and speak to her, just like he didn't have to ask about the welfare of her daughter. But he did because he cared.

"So what brings you by?" he asked getting directly to the point. He wasn't going to make it easy on her by any means.

"I was wondering if you would mind keeping an eye on Natalie during your free period" she came right out with it. "My daycare fell through and it is too late to try to get her into anywhere else. So I'm making due the best way I know how but I need a little help." She closed her eyes and waited for something along the lines of hell no.

"Sure I don't mind" she opened her eyes again and looked at him as if he were crazy. Why should he help her? She had been nothing but a bitch to him since forever. But yet here he was agreeing to take care of her daughter so she could go to class. "You shouldn't feel bad about asking for something like that. I want to help you but you need to let me."

"Thank you".

"See you in school tomorrow" he gave her a smile before turning around and going back into his house.

--

"Mom … I can't find Natalie's socks" AJ was rushing around with her 3-month-old daughter in her arms. Today was her first day back and it was already completely stressful.

"They are right here Ashden" Anita took the baby from her daughter so she could pack her school bag. "Natalie's diaper bag and your lunch are sitting on the table try to have a good day sweetie I know it's going to take some getting used to but believe me one day you will look back on these years and smile."

"I highly doubt that" she grumbled taking the baby back from her mother.

Miz and Morrison and John were waiting for her out front. "Since when did you three start riding to school together?" she asked.

"Baby!" Miz exclaimed stealing the baby from her.

"Ignore him" Morrison said. "We've actually found out that we can tolerate each other".

"And since I kinda disowned all the people I thought were my friends and I realized that eating lunch alone sucked I've kinda had to become friends with them".

"Gee thanks man I am touched"

"Gimme her" John took the baby from Miz and placed her into the car seat that all 3 boys spent all morning installing. He took the back seat next to Natalie and Miz sat on the other side of her.

"You guys didn't really need to go out and get a car seat" she laughed at their eagerness.

"Natty is part of our group now so where we go she comes too" Morrison explained.

"Miz you're gonna make her cry with those stupid faces" John told his friend shaking his head.

"She likes it"

No sooner had he said this did the baby start to cry. "Dumbass" John muttered as he took her toy bear from her diaper bag and made it dance in front of her eyes. Instantly cheering her up.

"See I know what my girl like huh" John cooed at the baby.

"You guys are freaking me out" AJ commented.

"When I told you that people were here for you I wasn't kidding AJ"

They pulled into a parking space and AJ took a shaky breath. "You'll do fine" John assured her rubbing her shoulder a little bit. She got out of the car and stood against the hood just looking up at the school that last year had caused her so much misery. John was the next out of the car and he had the baby in his arms. He adjusted her so that she was resting against the crook of his left arm and with his other free arm he wrapped it around her shoulders. "We are all here for you" he told her. "We won't let you do this alone."

She nodded as they began to walk. As they got closer AJ mentally went over her appearance. She was lucky she was able to get back into her size 2 jeans fairly quickly after Natalie's birth. She was wearing a dark green Hollister t-shirt and on her feet she had decided on black Roxy flip flops. She had gone back to glasses but they were the more trendy glasses. She couldn't help but feel a little surge of confidence having the best looking guy at that school have his arm around her. Then again Miz and Morrison weren't slouches in the looks department either. So she had 3 of the best looking people in that school walking her to class. They were finally at the set of stone steps leading to the main building. AJ sucked in a breath as she could feel people looking at them. John's embrace became a little tighter. She grabbed onto Morrison's hand. He rubbed the back of her's with his thumb. They made it through the front door and into the main hall of the school.

"I gotta see McMahon" she informed them.

"I'll walk with ya" John offered. "Since I'm first up with Natty". She nodded thankful for his support. They said good bye to Miz and Morrison and made their way towards Mr. McMahon's office. He was standing outside waiting for AJ.

"Ms. Williams I'm so glad to have you back" he seemed eager knowing that she was back in the school. This made no sense to her because she had spent a very limited time here the first time around.

"Mr. Cena why are you here?" he asked.

"Moral support" the young man replied with a smug grin.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Not really"

The principal rolled his eyes. "Well let's continue this in my office". He let both of them into his office and closed the door behind them. AJ was sitting next to John now; he had Natalie on his lap resting against his chest. He was making quiet funny noises to keep her entertained. He seemed so at ease with Natalie it kinda bugged AJ.

"Ms. Williams I want to assure you that nothing like what happened last year will ever happen again" Mr. McMahon started off by saying. "As you may know Mr. Orton is in jail and Ms. Kelly has been expelled and banned from the campus."

AJ looked at John who nodded confirming what Mr. McMahon had just said to be true. "We have a no tolerance policy for those things now and if anyone gives you any problems I want you to come to me right away and I will take care of it" AJ nodded.

"Yes sir" she replied.

"Then you are all free to go" he dismissed them.

"He didn't even mention Natalie" AJ commented.

"What's he gonna say it was on his watch that she was conceived" John replied a little too bitterly for her liking. "He ain't gonna do shit to help you". His temper was flaring, AJ always got a little scared when this happened. "He knew what Orton and Kelly did to people and yet he did nothing and it wasn't until he couldn't turn his back from it did he decide to do something".

"John you're scaring us" AJ said just as Natalie began to whimper.

"I'm sorry it just makes me mad"

"Don't worry about it he's a jerk" she told him. "I've got to get to class but thank you again for watching her" she slung Natalie's diaper bag over his shoulder and took off.

--

"Here we are Natty" he sat down with the baby in the library. "You want to explore the world of Wuthering Heights with my little lady?" he asked her as he pulled out his copy of the book and began reading out loud to her.

--

A boy dressed all in black had a seat next to her. His crazy rainbow colored hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He had a rather large tattoo running up the entire length of his arms and hiss neck.

"Hi, I'm AJ and looks like we'll be lab partners all year" she tried to be courteous. The boy with the green eyes gave her a skeptical look.

"Jeff" he replied stiffly.

"Are you new here?" she asked.

"No … I left half way through the year last year" was his reply.

"Yea me too" he gave her a strange look.

"So when are you gonna start making fun of me" his tone was one of condemnation. "Hopefully you'll come up with something I haven't already heard".

"I wasn't going to make fun of you" she replied a little caught off guard. "I was just trying to be friendly … this place can be a viper pit".

He laughed at her. "What do you know of it?"

"I was drugged and raped by Randy Orton last year and then he decided it would be nice to play a tape he made of the two of us on every computer in the school and to make matters worse I am now raising his 3 month old daughter" it was Jeff's turn to be caught off guard.

"I was kicked out of here last year for using crystal meth" he admitted. "I attended rehab and just want a fresh start".

"Amen to that brother".

--

"Here she is Steve" John pushed a stroller containing a sleeping infant into Steve's empty classroom. "Just changed her so she should sleep for a while".

"Where did you learn to change a baby?" Steve asked surprised.

"Please don't make fun of us but after we heard AJ was coming back with a baby me and Morrison and Miz asked my dad to teach us how to take care of a baby so we could help AJ out" he admitted a little embarrassed. "I can change a diaper in less than 20 seconds."

"Go to class"

--

"Hey guys mind if Jeff sits with us?" AJ asked as he Jeff and Natalie made their way over to the lunch table the guys were already sitting at.

"Umm … yea sure" Morrison was the first to say.

"Told you this was a bad idea" Jeff began to walk away.

"Hardy" John called out to him. Jeff turned around. "Everyone needs a second chance so have a seat."

Jeff nodded and had a seat next to Miz. Lunch went better than AJ could have expected. The guys seemed to really enjoy having Natalie around and people pretty much left them alone.

--

It was after school and AJ was putting her book back into her locker. The guys had gone ahead and were waiting for her at the car. "Well … well look who it is" AJ turned around and came face to face with the cheerleading team.

"Can I help you?" she asked in a less than confident voice.

"You really are stupid for coming back here ya know" the new cheer captain Melina taunted her.

"I have just as much right to be here as you do" AJ quickly found her backbone. "You people you hide by superficial stereotypes and it is pathetic … I feel sorry for you". She walked away from them feeling so much better than she had in a long time.

"Face it you are a slut you asked for what happened to you"

She didn't turn around and let them see that their comments had affected her. She walked briskly to the car and got in without saying a word to anyone. She kept her arms crossed over her chest the whole ride and would refuse to talk to anyone.

"See ya tomorrow AJ" Morrison said pulling away from the curb in front of her house. As she walked up the steps she could hear singing. She stepped into the foyer and followed where the music was coming from. Natalie was sitting in her bouncy chair while John was in the chair in front of her strumming a guitar and singing to her. She was just closing her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded of him.

He didn't answer her but continued playing "Please Come to Boston". When he had finally finished the song he turned his attention to her.

"Your mom had to run out for something and she kinda cornered me and asked if I would watch her for a little while" he stood up and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams princess".

"John … please just stop" she threw her arms in the air to add some emphasis.

"Stop what?" he asked confused.

"You aren't Natalie's father!" she yelled at him.

It took him a moment to recover. "Don't you think I know that" his voice had raised a little bit but he was not yelling. "Believe me I am painfully aware that she is not mine because if she were then she would have been created out of love not some horrific undeserved act of violence. If she was mine you wouldn't hate her."

"I don't hate her" she defended herself.

"You walk around keeping everyone at arms length because you feel that you can well you know what you can't it's not fair to me or to your parents or even Natalie"

"Fine is that what you want" she walked over and grabbed his face and kissed him roughly. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her. He felt her tongue against his lips and allowed her access into his mouth.

He pushed her away. Tears were streaming down her face by now. "Is that what you want?" she was hysterical. "Do you want to take me upstairs and use me like he did? Huh is that what you want?" she was shivering. He went over and wrapped his arms around her and held her until she calmed down.

"No, that is not what I want at all and you know it" he moved a little so that she could see his face but he was still holding her. He wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb. "I want to see you smile again and that won't happen until you get help. You seem to think by not talking about it and pretending that it never happened will make the pain hurt less but it won't. Orton forced himself upon you without feeling a bit of remorse. He is a monster but that doesn't mean you have to stop living your life because if you do then he wins. I am not going to lie I want you in the worst way and after kissing you like that it is very hard for me to control myself right now but I am not Orton and I would never do what he did to you. Please if not for your own sake or mine think about Natalie … she needs her mom to be ok."

"I promise you I will go to therapy" she swore to him. "But you need to realize that you can't help me with everything. I don't need some dude swooping down from his white horse to save me all the time. I need to fight my own battles."

"Duly noted" he hugged her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you AJ".

"Deep down I know I love you too but I just can't right now".

He nodded. "That's ok no pressure".

"If it means anything you would make a great dad to someone".

"It's easy just looking at that little helpless face it's hard not to fall in love" he looked over his shoulder to make sure Natalie was still asleep. "Well homework calls so I'll see ya tomorrow".

"See ya".


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Best Day

AJ stormed into the house pissed, today had been completely and utterly horrible. John trailed behind her, holding Natalie. "Are you going to say something?" She answered his question by not saying anything and just huffed upstairs to her bed room, slamming her door shut.

John jumped slightly at the noise and Natalie begun to fuss. "Shh! Its okay, Natty. Mommy's just a little upset. She'll get over it."

Anita came out of the kitchen at the sound and raised an eyebrow at John. "Everything okay here?"

John sighed and shook his head. "Something happened at school today and AJ is trippin'. I tried to talk to her but she won't let me in. Miz and Morrison tried to."

AJ's mother looked thoughtful for a moment, but nodding. "I'm going to talk to her. Would you mind feeling Natalie a bottle? I have one in the frig, you just have to heat it up."

"Yeah, no problem." He spoke, heading to the kitchen as Anita headed upstairs to AJ's room.

She knocked on the door. AJ was curled up in bed with her back to the wall. Anita could hear sniffles coming from her daughter. "Ashden what happened?" she asked taking a seat next to her daughter on the bed.

"Nothing" AJ sniffled again and wiped her eyes. "Everything is fine".

"You know you used to love talking to me when you were younger." Anita sighed.

"There is nothing wrong!" AJ insisted.

"Come on we are going out." Anita announced swatting her only daughter on the behind. AJ looked at her like she had seven heads.

"Did you just touch my butt?" AJ sat up, so was so focused on the utter awkwardness that had settled over them now to be upset at the moment.

"Yes I did and if you don't grab your shoes and head out to the car in 5 minutes I will do it again." The older woman threatened.

"Fine!" AJ huffed. She got up and slid her feet into her shoes. She turned around to look at her mother and placed her hands on her hips. "Satisfied?"

"It's kinda chilly out so put of your coat." With that one piece of parental advice being said Anita left the room.

--

"Did she tell you what was wrong?" John asked. He had Natalie on his shoulder burping her. "I'm really starting to worry about her."

"Me too." Anita admitted. "But I understand how hard this must be on her. I was only 2 years older than her when I found out I was pregnant with Ethan."

"Ms. Williams can I ask you a question?" it was something that he had wondered about from time to time.

"Sure John." She agreed, but she already knew what he was going to ask.

"Where is Ethan and AJ's dad?"

"He's in jail believe it or not." She confided in him. "AJ doesn't know that but right after I found out I was pregnant with her he was busted for assault with a deadly weapon." She shook her head sadly. "He always did have a temper."

"So both AJ and Natalie's dads are in jail?" John found the irony rather amusing.

"Yes, but please don't tell her or Ethan they think their father died. Ethan was only 2 when he was put away." She begged him.

"So why tell me?" He asked.

"Because you asked. To change the subject for a minute do you know what made me know that Steve was the man for me?" She asked. "He's no saint by any stretch of the imagination but I remember one time when AJ was 3 years old and she broke her arm and she was so scared of the cast so Steve let them put a cast on his arm too. Even though it itched him like crazy he kept it on as long as she did. Then when AJ was 6 and he would have tea parties with her and let her paint his nails. I guess what I am trying to say is that he loves both my kids even though they aren't his. But that doesn't seem to matter because to him they are. That is a real measure of a father."

"Thanks." He stood up and handed her the baby. Before he left he kissed her cheek. She smiled knowing he had gotten her secret message.

"He's a good boy isn't he sweetie?" She kissed her granddaughter's cheek.

AJ bounded down the stairs a few minutes later. "Ok I'm here." She was still in her mood. She took the baby from her mother and put her coat on her. "Where are we going?"

Anita just smiled at her. "It's a surprise."

"Gee fun." AJ remarked once her mother had gone outside. She unwillingly followed along behind. She sighed as she put the baby into the car and got into the front seat.

Anita watched as AJ leaned against the window. The windows steamed up against her warm breath. She drew little pictures with her finger. Anita smiled, AJ used to do that when she was a little girl.

--

"_Ashden smile for the camera" Anita chirped at her 5 year old daughter. Steve had taken them pumpkin picking. It was a little chilly and Anita had bundled both kids up. AJ smiled broadly and began to giggle as her mom snapped the picture._

"_Steve!" she exclaimed as she ran over to him and hugged his legs. "There's my girl." He scooped the little girl up and showered her with kisses._

"_Steve when can we go on the tractor ride?" Ethan asked._

"_Right now buddy" Steve wrapped his free arm around the young boy's shoulders and walked with both kids over to the tractor. He placed AJ into the tractor and then picked Ethan up and placed him in too._

_It was later that night. AJ had passed out in the car. Ethan was almost out himself. Anita kissed Steve on the cheek. "Thank you for making this a great day for us."_

_--_

AJ sighed. Breaking Anita out of her memory. The mother of two frowned. Why was her daughter so unhappy?

--

"_Mom! You don't understand with these stupid braces nobody wants to be my friend anymore." 13 year old AJ was making a big deal out of the braces she was now wearing. She placed her head in her hands. "Nobody is gonna want to talk to me."_

"_Come on baby we are going shopping." Anita suggested linking arms with her still sulking daughter._

"_What do you think of this dress?" AJ asked modeling a cute little spaghetti strapped black dress that came to her knees. _

"_I think John will like it." AJ blushed furiously._

"_Mom … he's my best friend. It isn't like that at all."_

_They sipped their milkshakes and laughed and shared crazy thoughts about sleeping in the Buckingham Palace. By the end of the trip AJ couldn't remember any of her ex friends names._

--

"I don't know if things are ever going to be ok again." AJ sighed. "I just want to go through one day without being the school's resident whore."

"They are the whores." The way Anita said it made AJ laugh. It was music to Anita's ears. "Baby you are so much better than all those kids who like to kick you when you are down. You have so much more reserve and grace. It takes a lot of inner strength to make the decisions you did."

"You and Steve have been so supportive of me since I have been back and I want to thank you for that. I have the best mom and dad in the world."

"Ashden remember the time when you convinced yourself that Sean was your little brother?" Anita laughed at the memory. "You wouldn't call him by his name it was always little brother. You'd go around introducing him to people as your little brother. Which is strange because he is a year older than you and not your brother."

--

"Whatcha painting Ashden?" Anita asked her 3 year old as she played with her finger paints.

"Pwincess mama" was the girl's reply.

"You are doing a good job baby."

"Tank you"

"What a pretty princess"

"You pwttier mama."

"Thank you my baby."

--

"So people are giving you a hard time in school and that is what got you upset?" Anita asked.

"Yea" AJ replied.

"Let them talk baby. You are so much better than them. They are shallow little bitches. You wanna know what they are really jealous of? Huh? Do Ya? They want to be Natalie's mother. As screwed up as it is Randy Orton was popular and all the girls want the popular boy's baby."

"Good for them. Let them see how hard being a parent is."

"I'm so proud of you Ashden. That's why I brought you out here so I could tell you that."

"Where are we?" AJ asked. She got out of the car and gasped. "This is the old carousel you used to bring me and Ethan to when we were little." There was genuine excitement in her voice.

"They are tearing is down Ashden. But I wanted you to have one more moment as a child. I wanted to share this moment with you and Natalie." She brought the baby closer. She reached out to touch one of the ancient horses. Natalie let out an excited squeal. Both her mother and grandmother smiled.

"Thanks mom this has been the best worst day I have ever had." AJ hugged her mother as tightly as she could without hurting Natalie.

"Climb up on one of the horses and I will get a picture of you and Natty." Anita suggested.

AJ climbed onto a horse and held her hands out for Natalie. Anita handed her the baby and AJ sat her in front of her. Both girls were smiling as Anita took the picture.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: The Way I Loved You

"Hey AJ. Are you busy after school?" Jeff asked taking his seat next to her.

"I can ask John to watch Natalie. Why?" she asked.

"I want to show you something" he replied. "Something that I think will really help you."

--

"John" AJ jogged up to the senior. She stopped just short of him. He gave her a warm smile.

"What can I do for ya?" he asked. She looked at the ground for a moment debating whether it was a good idea to ask him to watch her daughter. He already did so much for her.

"Would you mind watching Natalie after school today? Jeff has some big life changing thing that he wants to show me."

"Sure no problem." He agreed.

"Really?" she asked a little surprised. She had no idea why he was so willing to take care of Natalie but he was.

"Yea. It's no problem I like having her around." He shifted his backpack from one shoulder to the other.

"Thank you." She kissed his cheek before jetting off to her next class. He placed his hand on his cheek where she kissed him and smiled. That had been the most unforced display of affection he had gotten from her in a long time.

--

"Jeff will you tell me now?" AJ asked still a little annoyed by the fact that Jeff would not tell her where they were going. He stopped at a red light and took a few seconds to look over at her. He had left school early and returned to pick her up at the end of the day. He had gone home and showered and changed his clothes. He was now wearing a tight fitting white wife beater and jeans. She could now see the full extent of the tattoo that took up his whole entire arm. She loved it. It was so different from what she had ever seen before. She wanted to run her finger tips along the length of it. She scolded herself for thinking that way. He had pulled his rainbow colored hair into a ponytail. She had never realized until then that Jeff was a very attractive man.

"I will tell you when we get there." He replied giving her a small smile.

--

"I see Natalie is here again" John Sr. frowned at his second oldest boy. It wasn't that he wasn't fond of Natalie because he was. He loved both Natalie and her mother like they were family. But he worried his son was getting a little too attached for his own good. "Might as well turn Stephen's old room into a nursery."

"Can we do that?" John got a hopeful look in his eyes.

"No. John you do know that you aren't Natalie's father right?" his father asked gently.

John put Natalie back into her carrier. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I know she isn't mine. But that doesn't mean I can't love her as if she were. Orton is a monster and he doesn't deserve to have anything to do with someone as beautiful and innocent as Natalie or AJ for that matter."

"I know you feel very protective over both girls but John I am worried about you." His father admitted.

"What's got you worried Pops?" John asked. "Doing well in school and football and I still have the free time to help my friend out."

"I just don't want you to get hurt Johnny."

"AJ knows I love her and someday I know that she will be able to love me like I love her but right now she needs to work through her demons."

"Please for me just be careful." He begged the young boy.

"I will dad." John gave his dad a reassuring smile.

--

"Ok we're here." Jeff hopped out of the car and opened her door for her. She gave him a smile and looked around. They were standing in front of a red brick building. She frowned; this was not what she was expecting.

"Where is here exactly?" she asked confused.

"This is Life Support." He explained. Then he chuckled a little. "I know stupid name but that is what it is. People coming together with all kinds of different lifestyles and stories to support each other. It was either I come here or do jail time. I hated it at first but after time I realized that it was nice to have people who weren't judging me or expecting things of me. So come today, you don't have to talk but just listen and see if you like it."

"I can do that I guess." She agreed to listen. Not to tell anyone her story.

"Hey guys I brought someone with me today. This is AJ." Jeff casually strolled into the room and had a seat. AJ sat next to him. She felt a little uncomfortable.

"Ok guys where did we leave off last time?" An older man who's bald head shone from the florescent lights.

"I think Ken was talking last." Jeff spoke up.

"Ok Ken." Ken looked to AJ to be around her age. He had bleached blonde hair and a mischievous smile.

"Well my dad passed away and I guess it hit me harder than I originally thought. My dad was my best friend. We did everything together. He was always there for me but now he isn't. So I started drinking and doing drugs. Anything to kill the pain." AJ felt compelled to get out of her seat and give the young man a hug. But she remained seated. Startled by her willingness to give someone else physical contact even if it was just a hug. The guy who was sitting next to Ken slung his arm around him. "So my mom sent me here as a last effort. She did some research and found out about this and here I am."

Her throat burned to be able to speak. But she kept it closed. She listened to a few more people talk. People of all different ages with all different problems. One woman lost her husband and her young daughter in a car crash. Another man had a gambling problem and his family kicked him out. What really got to AJ was this young girl that couldn't be older than 11 talking about how she was sexually assaulted by her own uncle. AJ's eyes watered. If someone so young could cope with something like what she had been through then why shouldn't she.

"AJ would you like to speak?" The man running the session asked.

She opened her mouth to say no but something else came out. "I was fifteen and at a dance. My best friend tried to warn me but I didn't listen. I got mad at him and let this guy convince me to leave with him. He handed me a soda and something told me not to drink it but I did anyways. I wanted him to think I was cool I guess. Everything is really hazy after that. I found out later that he slipped the date rape drug into my drink. He raped me and then left me passed out on my best friend John's porch. Luckily John found me and took care of me until I came to. He wasn't sure what happened to me and I wasn't about to provide him with details. That following Monday he released a video tape that he had made of us all over the school's computer system. So everybody knew what had happened to me and called me names because of it. So I left to stay with relatives. But as if everything wasn't bad enough I found out I was pregnant because of that one night of stupidity." Tears spilled out from her eyes. "I have this constant reminder of that night and I have nobody to blame but myself. I hate my own daughter but I hate myself even more."

The young girl came to kneel in front of her. AJ looked into her hazel eyes. "If it is one thing that I have learned AJ it's that something like this is never the victim's fault. You were fifteen, a kid. Our attackers plan these things out. It was only a matter of time before he got to you. There was nothing you could have done. As for your baby, you don't hate her. If you did you would have had an abortion right away. You are still very hurt by what happened to you but if you let yourself heal you will see that you do love her. She may be a reminder of the worst night of your life but she is also all your hopes for the future." This girl spoke with such a maturity for her young age.

"Cassie is right AJ." The director agreed. "This person who did this to you has probably hurt other girls and by you coming forward and admitting what he did he was put away so that he cannot hurt anyone else. He cannot hurt you anymore."

AJ nodded. She knew these people were right. It had been what he family and friends had been telling her all along but she had been too bitter and blinded by rage to see that. "Thank you guys. You have given me perspective."

--

"So how do you feel?" Jeff asked. "I know it is only your first session but does it feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders?"

"Yea it does." She agreed. It really did. For the first time in a while she did not feel angry. She almost felt normal. "Talking about it helps. I can see that now."

"You know Ken goes to our school right?" he asked.

"I didn't but that's cool to know. He seems like a good guy."

"He is." Jeff agreed.

The stopped in front of her house. "Thanks for taking me to this Jeff." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I needed it."

"No need to thank me. I just wanted to help a friend in need."

"See you in school tomorrow?" she asked.

"You know it." She hugged him and got out of the car.

She made her way up the path to John's front door. She knocked and waited for someone to answer. John answered the door with Natalie in his arms. Her little girl giggled and gave her mom a toothless grin.

"Looks who's here Princess." John cooed to the baby.

"Hey baby girl." AJ took Natalie from John. The way she was holding the baby John could see a difference. "Did you have fun?" She kissed the top of her head. John raised an eyebrow. He had never seen AJ show Natalie affection.

"I'm guessing whatever Hardy took you to had a good affect on you." He commented.

"Yes. I know the rape wasn't my fault now and I can finally start to heal. I know you were telling me that from the beginning but I was too intent on being pissed off to let it sink in." She leaned in closer to him and softly kissed his lips. "Thank you for always being here for us." She began her decent down his front steps. He just looked at her surprised. He was definitely going to have to thank Hardy in some way.

--

AJ entered her home. She placed Natalie in her play pen and went to find her parents. She wanted to tell them about what had happened to her today. "Mom ... Dad." She called out. Nobody answered.

She opened the door to the kitchen to find her brother raiding the fridge. "ETHAN!" She exclaimed throwing her arms around his muscular frame. She had surprised him. He gave her a bewildered look. "What?" she asked.

"Who are you and what have you done with AJ?" He asked almost seriously. He hadn't seen his sister this happy in a long time.

"I had a good day today E ... that's it." She informed him. "Where are the parental units?"

"They went out for the night." Her older brother informed her.

"Cool. I'm gonna go start my homework you mind keeping an eye on Natty for me?" She asked.

"Since when do you call her Natty?" Now he was really confused.

"Good day remember." She laughed at him.

"Sure I'll watch her." He agreed. She ran upstairs to her room to tackle her assignments.

He just shook his head in amusement. "She's back."

--

It was late and AJ couldn't sleep. She kept tossing and turning in bed. There was something that she needed to do. She kicked the covers off of her and left her room. She then went into Natalie's room to check on her. She was sleeping soundly. AJ fixed her blankets before leaving the room. She quietly crept down the stairs to the first floor. The television was on. AJ peeked into the living room. Ethan had fallen asleep watching TV. Nothing new. She unlocked the front door as quietly as she could and stepped out into the cool night air. As John did to her more than a year ago she climbed a tree that faced his bedroom window. He was sprawled out on his bed with his mouth open. She laughed a little at him. She leaned forward and knocked on the window. He must not have heard her because he didn't move. She knocked again a little louder. This time he looked up. His eyes went wide as he went to let her into the room.

"You coulda broken your neck." He repeated something along the lines of what she had told him when it was him at her window. He helped her into the room. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong with you or the baby?"

"I wanted to give you something." She answered his question in a shy manner.

He looked at her amused. "You snuck out of your house and climbed up a tree to give me something? Couldn't it have waited till morning?"

"Not really. It's more of a night time thing." She replied.

"Ok what is it?" He asked. He didn't get where she was going with this.

"Me." She remarked.

He almost swallowed his tongue when he finally got around to understanding. His teenage hormones were in full force. But the rational part of his brain couldn't accept it.

"AJ ... you don't mean that." He reasoned with her.

"Yes John I do. I don't want to hate sex anymore and I trust you. I know you won't hurt me."

"Are you sure?" He found himself asking.

"Is it this hard for all females to get you into bed?" she asked with a small giggle.

"Well ... no but you aren't just any female AJ." He justified. "I don't want to do anything that is going to make you worse rather than better.

"I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't want to be John. So please just shut up and kiss me already."

"Ok." He still wasn't completely ok with what she wanted but at the same time he was a teenage guy and it was killing him to be the one to rationalize this. "But if you get scared or decide that you don't want to then just tell me to stop and I will."

"I have no problem with that."

He went to kiss her but stopped himself. "I can't ..." He sighed. "I want to I just think it is too soon."

"I don't want to be afraid anymore John. Every guy I see I'm afraid that they are going to do the same thing to me. I need to know that it can be different. That it can be pure and loving. I'm scared to death right now but I will never truly be at peace till I know."

In a strange way he understood what she meant. He could sympathize with her. "If this is really what you want. Is it?"

"For the last time yes!" She exclaimed. His hand flew over her mouth.

"Shh." He commanded.

"Sorry." She whispered.

He went to kiss her again but this time he didn't stop. He body molded against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed his arms around her waist and guided her over to his bed. She fell backwards onto it and laughed a little. He went to remove her shirt and she tensed up a little. He looked at her. "I'm ok." She encouraged him to keep going. He slid the shirt off of her. His mouth sought out hers again. He let his hands roam around the exposed skin of her body. Randy had done that too but he had been rough. John's touches were light caresses. His mouth was hungry for hers but even so he was incredibly gentle. She broke apart from him long enough to help him out of his own shirt. Their make out session continued for a while. Neither person was in any rush. This was a special moment for the both of them.

"Are you sure?" he asked her one more time.

"Yes." She looked deep into his eyes. "I trust you."

He left the bed and crossed the room to retrieve a condom. On his way back he rid himself of his pants. This was the first time she had ever seen him completely naked. Gazing at his masculine form she was anything but afraid. This was how is should have been from the very beginning. He smirked when he caught her staring at him.

"Close your eyes and let me show you how a man is supposed to love a woman." She did as he told her.

--

"Thank you John." He propped his head up to look at her. She was half asleep drawing little pictures on his stomach with her finger tips.

"For what?" he asked.

"For always being there for me even though I didn't deserve it." She replied sleepily.

He wasn't sure how to reply to that. "I will always be there for you AJ. Whether you want me to be or not. I love you and Natalie more than anything else in the world."

"Remember when you told me that you wish Natalie was yours?" she asked him.

He remembered that conversation well. He replayed that exchange over and over in his head all the time. "Yea."

"I wish she was too." She admitted.

"As far as I am concerned she is mine. Nothing is going to change that. When I turn 18 I want to adopt her."

"John, you really don't have to do that." She told him. "Being a teenage parent isn't something that I would really wish on anyone. You have your whole life ahead of you and I don't want to stand in your way of reaching your dreams."

"I have no dreams without you and Natalie beside me AJ. I'm not planning on adopting her because that is what I think you need. I want to do it because I want her to be my daughter. I want her to always know that her daddy loves her no matter what. You were lucky enough to have Steve in your life. Let me be that for Natty."

"So you want to be a family then?" she asked him.

"I want that more that anything else in the world." He admitted.

He waited for her to reply to him. But silence filled the room. He was afraid that he had over stepped his boundaries. He was beginning to panic until he heard the soft sound of AJ snoring. She had fallen asleep. He calmed down immediately and wrapped his arms tighter around the person he loved and closed his eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

John woke up with a smile on his face. AJ was still sleeping; he carefully got out of bed as not to wake her. He decided that a quick shower would be nice. About five minutes after he had left Sean his ten year old brother barged into his room looking for his favorite pair of sneakers.

"DAD! JOHN HAS A GIRL IN HIS ROOM!" Sean yelled.

AJ woke with a start. She looked around forgetting momentarily where he was. She stared wide-eyed at Sean.

"AJ." The boy looked equally surprised. "Eww. You are like a sister to us." He scrunched up his face is pure disgust.

AJ prayed that their father was out of the house somewhere. But prayers weren't on her side on this particular morning. His father seemed as confused as Sean was. All AJ could do was bury her face in the pillow and pretend she was anywhere else.

"When John gets out of the shower I want a word with the both of you." John Sr. announced shutting the door.

John was whistling a little tune as he strolled back into the room. He had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Your dad wants to talk to us after you get dressed." It was hard for him to hear because her face was still in the pillow.

"Pardon me?" he asked.

She took her face out of the pillow. It was red with embarrassment. "Your dad wants to talk to us after you get dressed." She repeated herself.

John's face paled a little. "How did he find out you were here?" he asked.

"Sean." AJ answered flatly.

"I swear to god I am going to kill him." John muttered as he threw a shirt over his head. He thought nothing of dropping his towel in front of her. Her faced reddened again. He grinned at her. "Come on how can you still be embarrassed?" it was fun to tease her.

"Easily." She wrapped the sheet around her as she began looking for her clothes. She went to reach for her underwear but he snatched them up before she could grab them.

"Give them back." She commanded.

"Nope." He taunted her putting her underwear in his drawer. "Starting a new collection."

"Or more like adding to a collection." She rolled her eyes.

"I can honestly say you are the first person who's panties I stole." He grinned at her again. She ran her fingers through her hair trying to make herself look a little bit presentable.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Wrong question to ask me right now. I'm ready to say screw my father and go another round." He answered her honestly.

"As much fun as that sounds I have to get back to Natalie."

"Ah yes." He nodded in agreement. "Well let's get this over with."

They stepped out of the room and the three brothers that still lived at home were all waiting for them. The two older boys wore shocked expressions. Sean just stood there looking smug.

"Told you guys."

"Sean you'd better hide cause after I get done talking to dad I am gonna hurt you." John threatened. "You know you are not supposed to go into my room unless I invite you."

"I was looking for my sneakers." The young boy tried to defend himself.

"Why would they be in my room?" John asked.

"I dunno."

"Run."

--

It wasn't a pretty sight downstairs. John's dad had called Steve and Anita. All three of them were sitting waiting for them. AJ swallowed hard. This was going to be awkward at best. John wrapped his arm around her to comfort her.

"Cena I should kill you." The loud mouthed Texas started off the conversation. "How dare you do anything to take away my little girl's virtue!"

"Steve calm down." Anita urged him.

"Dad … it was my idea." All the adults looked at her. AJ swallowed again. "I snuck out of the house and I was the one who talked John into doing what we did."

"Don't try and protect him baby." Steve refused to believe her.

"It's true sir." John spoke up. "I didn't want to but she is very persistent." He finished off his sentence with a small smirk. AJ elbowed him in the ribs the minute the adults looked away. He choked a little. They looked at him. "Saliva went down the wrong pipe."

"When it comes down to it John and I are adults."

"The hell you are." Steve retorted. "You are sixteen Ashden." She cringed; she didn't like it when he used her full name.

"I have a baby!" she shot back at him.

"This is why you should be thinking more responsibly." Steve added.

"Look I know I have Natalie and believe me I do put her first but that doesn't mean that I can't be like every other teen. John loves the both of us and I know that we are both safe with him. You even said it yourself that John was a good guy."

"She has a point Steve." Anita said placing a hand on her husband's shoulder. Steve gave her a look.

AJ found her mind drifting off. She wondered if John would be just as protective of Natalie as Steve was with her. She then decided that yes he would be. She could see him in the future threatening any boy who came within spitting distance of Natalie. What AJ didn't know was that John was thinking of the same thing. He understood why Steve was so upset. He would be the same if it was Natalie. But at the same time he understood that they were two teenagers who were just giving in to their hormones. Neither one of them was a child anymore. They knew enough to be responsible. They were too old to be children to too young to be considered adults. These were frustrating times.

"Steve they are going to do what they want anyways." Anita pointed out. "At least give them the privacy to do it in their own homes. That way they are renting out cesspool motel rooms. We will all just live by the don't ask don't tell policy."

"I don't like the idea of them being old enough to do this either but I'd rather know they were somewhere safe." John Sr. agreed with Anita.

"So it is settled." Anita commented relieved to be done with this awkward situation.

"Are the both of you stoned!" Steve's face was so red it looked like a cherry. He was going to explode at any moment.

"Come along Steven James." Anita grabbed his arm forcing him towards the door with her.

"You want to stay for breakfast?" John asked.

"I dunno I should probably be getting home to Natalie."

"E can watch her a little bit longer." John urged her.

"If you want me too." She gave into him.

"I do." He didn't care who was watching them now. He kissed her like he was going to die if he didn't.

John Sr. looked a little disturbed. He left the room shortly after. The boys who had been listening at the stairs all looked horrified.

"That should be illegal." Matt said. "She's like our sister."

"Or future sister in law." Dan threw his two cents in.

"Eww." Was all Sean could say.

They all made it into the kitchen. Dan put an arm on his father's shoulder. "So dad since John can have girls in his room now can I have them in my room?" he asked hopefully.

"How about no." The other boys laughed at their brother being shot down. AJ gave him a sympathetic look but she laughed a little herself.

"You guys suck." Dan frowned.


	12. Chapter 12

John hummed as he curled a piece of AJ's hair around in his fingers. This had been the third time that week that she had slept over in his room.

"What are you humming?" AJ sleepily asked.

"Your Everything by Keith Urban." He informed her. She propped herself up on her elbows to look at him. She wrapped the sheet a little tighter around her naked body.

"How come you never talk about your mom?" He frowned at her.

"I don't like to talk about her?" He replied.

"Why?" She prodded.

"Just leave it alone." He snapped at her. He regretted it instantly after he had done it. He didn't blame her for being curious. The hurt and anger etched in her eyes caused him physical pain.

"You know what forget it. I'm going home." She stood up and began putting her clothing back on. He stood as well and wrapped his strong arms around her. Locking her into place in front of his body.

"I'm sorry." He nuzzled the back of her neck. "My mom left when Sean was a baby and it still hurts." He admitted. "Because it wasn't like she just left my dad. She left all of us. People say I have abandonment issues because of it."

"I'm sorry John. I didn't know." She turned her body so that she could hug him. He kissed the top of her head.

"It's fine. We don't need her anyways." He caressed her cheek.

"Even when I was in my darkest days I never felt the urge to abandon Natalie. She I didn't really like her all that much but I never wanted to abandon her."

"Well her mistake is something we can learn from."

--

It was later in the day and AJ had left to take Natalie to the doctors. The poor baby was due for her shots. He was not expecting her to come back being the smiling ray of sunshine she had been when she left. John was lying across his bed when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. He yelled for the person to come in and picked his head up.

"Clean and folded clothes." His father announced placing a laundry basket on his bedroom floor.

"Dad ... wait." John called as his father turned to exit the room. John got off the bed and gave his dad a hug. "Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome kid. But what brought this on?"

"AJ was asking me about mom and it made me think about all the stuff you had to do for us all on your own. It made me appreciate how hard you must have had it and still do."

"I'm not gonna lie sometimes I wanted to kill you all. But you are my sons and I love you all and that it what makes it worth it."

"I love you Dad."

"Love you too kid."

--

John was sitting on his front porch when the car pulled up. AJ was grinning as she got out of the driver's seat. She let out a squeal and took off towards John. "Mom let me drive home." She beamed as she jumped into his arms.

"That's great baby." He kissed her cheek before setting her back down on the ground. Anita took Natalie out of the car and she was screaming. John winced. "I take it she is not very happy with the doctor right now."

"Two shots. One in each thigh." AJ confirmed what John had predicted. He stepped away from her and AJ watched as he went over and took the baby from her mother. He juggled her a little in his arms while making shooshing noises. Natalie began to calm down.

"There's my happy girl." He cooed once she had calmed down. He kissed her cheek and she began to giggle.

"You are such a natural with her." AJ took Natalie's hand and kissed it.

"I had a lot of practice when Sean was a baby." He replied. "He was a few months old when she split and my dad worked a lot to support us so it was me and Steve raising the boys."

"I'm sorry that you got handed a crappy deal in life. I wish there was something I could do to change things."

"At this point in time I don't really care anymore. I have a great family and if she doesn't want to be apart of that then it is her loss."

"Well what happens when the parent wants to be involved but it is better for the child if they aren't" AJ bit her lower lip. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

"What are you talking about?" John asked confused.

"Randy called me the other day. He wants to see Natty and I don't know what to do. I am freaking out here."

"How can you even consider bring her to see him. What kind of horrible mother are you."

"Wow ..." Her eyes glazed over. She carefully snatched Natalie out of his grasp. "First of all I never said I was taking her to see him. I was just telling you that he called me and what he wanted. But I am Natalie's mother, I am the only biological parent she has and with that being said I am taking my daughter home. Don't call us." She stormed off before he could get another word in edgewise.

"Shit!" He exclaimed before running a hand through his hair. "Shit ... shit ... shit ... shit ... shit!" He continued to curse at his own stupidity. Why was he so threatened by the fact that she had even mentioned taking Natalie to see Randy? Maybe he was bothered by the connection. No matter how much he tried to ignore the fact the woman he loved had a connection with a guy he now despised. A guy who had taken so much from AJ. He wasn't sure why but the thought of Randy anywhere near his girls made the bile rise in his throat.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Should've Said No

AJ walked with a purpose. She felt just plain grimy even being in a prison. She decided not to bring Natalie. She was here on a mission. She was going to tell Orton to leave her and her daughter alone. She had a seat in front a thick piece of glass and waited for Randy to come out. Her wait wasn't long, she cringed when she saw his vicious trademark smirk plastered on his face. He too had a seat on the other side of the glass.

"Where's Natalie?" Randy asked.

"I left her at home. I came here to tell you to leave us alone. You will never see her and she will never know you."

"Ohh you certainly aren't the same helpless little girl I remember you as." He taunted her.

"Having a baby at fifteen will do that to you Randy." She shot back at him. "But you are right I am not the same person I was. If you even think of coming near my daughter I will kill you one spot and serve the time with a smile on my face."

"Let me guess Cena crawled into your pants the moment they locked me up." His grin became wider. "I think I might have created a monster." He appraised her appearance. She was wearing a tight pair of acid washed jeans and a baby doll tee that showed off the abs she had worked for so hard after her pregnancy and her new belly button piercing. He also took the time to notice her rather large spike heals.

"No Randy the only monster around here is you." She replied. "You belong in here."

"So tell me who is better me or Cena."

"What makes you assume that I slept with Cena?" She asked confused as to how he would have that sort of insight.

"The sudden confidence, the way you are dressed ... as I have said before you are not the same little girl anymore. Cena wanted in your pants from the moment you walked through those front doors of The Fed."

"You don't know anything about anything." She began getting upset.

"Is that so ... hold on I want you to meet someone." Randy stood up and walked over to the guard. They exchanged words and Randy gestured over to AJ with his head. The guard looked at her before sighing and disappearing behind a huge metal door. He returned a few minutes later with a balding middle aged man. Randy shook the prisoner's hands before leading him over to where AJ was still waiting.

"Little girl you are the spitting image of your mother." He looked at her with reminiscent eyes.

"Who the hell is this guy?" AJ asked. "Cause I don't really need to meet your Saturday night butt buddy."

"This is Ray. He's your mother's first husband. He's your biological father." Randy explained.

"My biological father died before I was born." AJ corrected Randy.

"That's a damn lie." The man spat. "They locked me up and your mother refused to let me see either you or Ethan. But believe me Ashden I am your father. Who else would know about the birthmark you have just above your butt that looks like a dragonfly?"

"I know about it." Randy smirked.

"Walkin a thin line boy." Ray threatened. "Ethan had a scar on the top of his head from where he spilt it falling into a coffee table. Took ..."

"Thirty-three stitches to close ..." AJ supplied.

"Him up." Ray finished.

"But why?" AJ asked horrified. She still wasn't really convinced that this man really was her father.

"I got mad and hurt a man really badly. Nearly killed him but doing time has changed that man. I have gotten help and I am not angry anymore. I tried to tell your mother that but she still refused to let me see you or your brother. Last time I saw either of you, you were hours old and Ethan was a toddler."

"Look I do not need a father. I have the best father anyone could as for and so does Natalie so both of you leaves us alone!" AJ yelled as she stood up and began speed walking out of there.

She had tears in her eyes and could barely see where she was going. At that point she didn't even care. She just wanted to erase the half hour she had spent in that prison.

"Hey AJ." She heard someone calling her. But she didn't want to face people at the moment. She felt someone's hand on her shoulder and turned around to give whoever it was touching her a tongue-lashing and a half. But she just couldn't when she looked up into Jeff Hardy's jade orbs. "What's the matter?"

"I just found out that my mother lied to me all these years." She sobbed. Jeff led the two of them to a nearby bench. "She told me and my brother that my father was dead. But there he was in prison. Why wouldn't she tell us that?"

"She wanted to protect you. The same way you want to protect Natalie from her biological father. Obviously both your father and Randy are bad dudes and sometimes it is easier to lie than deal with the answers that were too hard to answer." Jeff was a very wise soul.

"Maybe you are right." AJ wiped her eyes. "I guess I would probably have done the same thing."

"See there we go." He kissed her forehead in a friendly way.

--

He watched as they interacted. They looked too comfortable for his liking. His hands gripped so tightly onto his steering wheel that his knuckles were white. Anita had asked him to pick AJ up because she had to runs some errands. He was too mad to even be in the same car with her at the moment. She was so blatantly cheating on him with Hardy. He sped off before either person could know he was there.

--

"Come on I will give you a lift home." Jeff said as he helped her up.

"Yea ... ok" AJ was emotionally and physically exhausted. All she wanted to do was to curl up with John and take a long nap. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. "Hey John is me. I really need to talk to you about something important so when you get this call me. Actually never mind I will just come over."

"Not answering the phone?" Jeff stated the obvious.

"Yea. We kinda had a fight a couple of days ago. I thought he would be over it by now though."

"I'm sure you guys will work everything out. You guys are good together."

They pulled up in front of AJ's house. AJ thanked Jeff and gave him a hug. She ran up John's front steps. She knocked on the front door. Dan answered.

"John isn't home." He said a little too quickly. He also tried to shut the door on her.

"Dan, his car is in the driveway. Please I need to talk to him." She pushed her way past him into the house.

"AJ ... do not go up there."

"If he is still mad about the fight we had a couple of days ago then he is a fool." She continued up the stairs.

"AJ please I am begging you do not go into that room." There was honest panic in Dan's voice.

"What's the matter with you?" AJ asked with her hand on the doorknob.

She turned the knob and everything seemed to stop. She saw the clothing scattered across the floor. She closed her eyes for a moment before letting out this god awful yell. Even she was scared by it. The next thing she knew she was running down the front stairs. Dan was at the bottom. He went to hug her but she wouldn't let him. She needed to get out of that house so she could breathe again. She could hear John calling after her. She was running across the lawn when he caught up with her. He grabbed onto her elbow and turned her to face him.

"Let go of me." She spat at him.

"It's not what you think."

"So what you just kinda tripped and fell into Melina and then repeated the process a few more times."

"I saw you with Hardy today. How long have you been sleepin with him?"

"What ... I ran into Jeff after I found out that my father was still alive and he talked me down. I called and left you a voicemail, I was falling apart and he was there. If you were there then it would have been you I came to pieces in front of."

"You found out about your dad?"

"You knew?" Her eyes narrowed distrustfully.

"Your mother told me a couple of months ago. Not sure why but she did. She also made me swear that I would never tell you or Ethan."

She pulled her arm out of his grasp. "You have some serious issues to work through and I don't feel like dealing with your drama. You wanna sleep with Melina that's fine because I am done with you. I've told you this before but this time I absolutely mean it. Stay away from me! I hope she was worth it."

"Ashden please." He tried to grab her arm again. "I'm sorry."

"Shoulda said no John. Maybe if you did you might still have me." With that she turned and continued her way into her house.

John stood there in the middle of his front lawn. Shirtless and barefoot wanting nothing more than to start bawling. She was right he should've said no. He should have had a little more trust in her. She was right, he had issues with women. He was under the assumption that they would always leave him. He was partially right. But the only difference was he drove this one away and he had no idea if he was going to be able to fix this one. He lost the only great thing he had going for him.


	14. Chapter 14

"Ashden, your cousin Taylor is on the phone." AJ squealed as she jumped off of her bed and raced for the phone. Her mother gave her a smile as she took the phone.

"Tay, I am so happy you called me. God I have needed to talk to you so badly." She moved at a slower pace back up to her room. "No ... Natty is great. She's starting to scoot around now. Ugh ... I don't wanna talk about John."

"Why not?"

Because he was a complete and total moron and thought I was seeing another guy behind his back and cheated on me that same day. When in reality I had found out that my biological father is not actually dead and was being comforted by a friend. Then he had the balls to be like it isn't what you think." AJ laughed.

"Ugh! Guys are so stupid." AJ couldn't have agreed more.

"Yep I totally used the 'what did you fall into her' line. I miss you so much Tay." She frowned a little.

"Well I was thinking this summer why not come on tour with me. Bring Natty too cause I have not seen her since she was like hours old."

"Really you would want me and Natalie to come on tour with you?" AJ asked a little surprised.

"Of course you freak." Taylor let out a hearty laugh. "The whole family wants too see her again. My mom was just on me the other day about telling you to send some new pictures."

"If you really want us with you then we are totally game." AJ decided.

"Then it's settled. You and my beautiful God daughter are traveling around the world with me this summer."

"Tay, you are playing on the radio." AJ announced.

"Then turn me up."

AJ did as she was requested and began blaring "You Belong With Me" as she danced around like an idiot. But she was laughing because she knew Taylor was doing the same thing on the other end.

--

John smiled as he watched his ex-girlfriend dance in her room. She had left her curtains tied back so he could see right into her room from his. She was wearing the little pajama shorts that he loved and a white tank top. He could see that she was on the phone, he sighed because she was probably talking to her cousin Taylor. There would be a song about him on the radio by the end of the year if that were the case.

"Son, what are you doing?" John Sr. asked as he walked into his second oldest son's bedroom.

"Watching AJ. Is that a crime now a days?" John got defensive.

"Technically yes. It's called being a peeping tom." He joined his son at the window. "You miss her don't you?"

"Yea I really do."

"Then why did you do what you did?"

"I guess I felt that I needed to hurt her before she left and hurt me." He scratched the back of his head. "That's what they do. They make you love them and then they leave and take what is left of your dignity and self-respect with them."

"John, just because your mother left me doesn't mean that all women are going to leave. It just means that me and your mom weren't cut out to be together. Now I supposed I could have your attitude and hate all women for the sins of one. But I choose to look at what I do have. Without your mother I would not have five very amazing sons. So I would take the heart ache I felt any day if it means at the end of the day I still have you guys."

"Do you think she'll forgive me?" John asked.

"Probably not. But maybe it's better that way. In a few months you are going to graduate high school and go to college. Maybe it is better not to be tied down to a girl and a baby. You know I love AJ and Natalie like they were my own daughter and granddaughter but maybe it is better for all of you to end things now rather than later."

"If it's for the best than why do I feel all dead inside?"

"Give it some time John. Things will get better."

John looked out his window again. AJ had left while they were talking and returned with Natalie in her arms. She began spinning around in circles with the baby. Then they both crash landed on her bed. Both of them laughing.

"But I love them both so much."

"Let them go."

John walked over to his desk and grabbed a sharpie and a piece of paper. He wrote out I'm sorry and I still love you before taping it to his window and closing his curtains.

--

It was AJ's turn to look out the window. It was sometime later and she had Natalie on her hip. "What should Mommy do about this Princess?" Natalie looked up at her mother as she gummed on her teething ring. "You miss him don't you?" Natalie removed her teething ring from her mouth and blew a raspberry right into her mother's face. John had taught her how to do that. "I will take that as a yes." She grimaced as she wiped the baby saliva off of her face.

She propped Natalie up against her pillows on her bed and grabbed her own piece of paper and a sharpie. After deliberating on what she was going to write for about ten minutes she wrote the words I'm sorry also but then added but I cannot forgive you.


End file.
